I was recently talking with a friend, who in a time of need had accepted a gift from another friend. Initially they felt as though this gift were a blessing, exactly what they needed at that time. However, as weeks went by, the comments came, and my friend came to feel indebted to giver. And I thought, "how sad."
If there's anything I hate, it's feeling indebted- whether financially or emotionally- to another person. And so I pose the question- is there really anything we can expect to be free? Or is there always an expectation attached to the item? Whether its a government handout, a work benefit, or a gift from a friend, it all seems to come around in the end. Maybe I'm wrong- so let me know what you think! :)
4 comments:
i hate it when people give me something and then later on make it seem like it wasn't the gift they made it seem like earlier but rather a loan. folks should just be honest and up-front!
personally, i wouldn't say nothing is free though. there have been many times i've given something willingly without being asked, and i don't expect anything in return. i guess it just depends on perspective...
remember that one time that I gave you that one thing....well, I would like to have it back....I'm totally making that up. But on a serious note, aren't you glad God isn't an "indian giver"? He never expects us to repay him for his son's death...just to love him and share it with someone else.
I went on a mission trip a few years ago to Pinehaven - AWESOME place by the way. There was one member of our team of 10 people who was struggling with the decision to go because of a lack of funds. A wonderful friend of ours heard about this person's lack of funds, and came to me with the money for our team member. When she received the good news, she at first said that she couldn't take the gift because.... well, she just couldn't do it. And I told her that the person giving the money wanted nothing in return except to know that she would accept it, go on the trip, and be blessed. She still couldn't say yes, but did agree to think about it and pray about it. When she called me back a few days later to say that she would accept the gift, she said that she had remembered hearing once that when you refuse a gift (of whatever kind - financial or otherwise) you take away the blessing that the giver would receive from their generosity! She humbly accepted, went on the trip, and WOW what a blessing she received. Fortunately, for me, I knew the giver and the receiver and saw the blessings from both sides. They were both very happy people!
A gift is just that - a gift. If the receiver is feeling bad, she needs to consider that the giver was willing and able to help, and humbly accept the gift with no guilt or need to repay. On the other hand, if it's the giver who is making the person feel bad, then shame on them and they need to re-evaluate the reason for giving in the first place.
Wow, I didn't expect so many opinions! Okay, so maybe something are given without expectations. But not often. It just seems to me that there is usually some sort of string attached. But anyway, yes, I was thinking later about how God's "gift" is completely free and that's pretty awesome!
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